*that's why I no longer write headlines for a living*
In brief, the developers have run out of dosh. This splash (see what I've done there?) came straight from Labour Councillor for Claph'ham Town, Helen O'Malley. I'm not sure if the admission was on the record or not, but it's certainly scribbled down in my notes. So that's all right then.
'There is no fixed date for the closure of the existing facility,' said the good Councillor O'Malley. 'Planning application has been approved for the new centre, but it is all reliant upon the developers raising sufficient capital.'
Ah yes, the developers. This is Council speak for commercial partners who are propping up the whole project. You scratch my back, I'll build you a brand new leisure centre, not to mention some private apartments in a swanky SW4 postcode that we can then flog on for profit.
But the profit has taken a bit of a dive of late (see what I've done there?) The deal was good to go pre the crunching of the credit. Now the Council finds that it has got into bed with a company that can't deliver what was initially promised because of a lack of funds.
This is all so frustrating. I really want to back Labour led Lambeth Council in the building of a new facility. But, y'know, they aren't winning over many friends in the PR campaign.
Swimming in Clap'ham is actually a highly politicised issue. The three Clap'ham Town seats were won at the last election largely on a Labour promise to Keep Clap'ham Swimming. Ugly rumours were spread around that the previous LibDem ruling administration were going to close the Clap'ham pool.
And then along came our friends @lambethnews (that will be Lambeth Tories then, bless) with an equally ugly smear campaign last month, claiming that Labour were going to 'axe' swimming in Lambeth.
You might as well toss a coin on the outcome, it seems.
Plan B is in place - and that plan B is to... keep the existing leisure centre, close it for a couple of years and then renovate it. It is a bit of a dive, after all (see what I've... Oh, forget it.)
Elsewhere in the meeting and it was all lively, healthy debate. Ten of my fellow early morning swimmers showed up, which is ten more than last time. I didn't quite recognise them with their clothes on.
The cleanliness of the pool area was a major concern. The management team from Greenwich (don't ask) Leisure Limited accepted responsibility and took a hit on behalf of the Council. That's what happens when you pimp out your core services to a private contractor.
I raised my own bugbear point about having to pay twice to swim in Lambeth owned pools, once for a membership to swim indoors with GLL, and then once again for a season ticket for the Fusion managed lovely lido (four days and counting.) The answer was, as ever, fudged. Different facilities, different profit margins, same infrastructure.
There was plenty of lemon sucking for the poor GLL folk. I think diplomacy must be a key skill set in the GLL management job description.
I did pitch in for a brief podcast with Dave White, Centre Manager at Clap'ham. Yer man seemed like a decent chap, but he would have had to jump through various corporate hoops to have the all clear. GLL management, Lambeth Leisure management, a list of proposed questions to be asked in the pod, etc.
Mmm - it's all about the here and now, Dave; capture the moment whilst it is still fresh. And so I did the job myself from the back of Clap'ham Manor. As ever, a right of reply is open. Have bike, will travel, have iPhone, will podcast. Tweet tweet.
And so where does this leave the electorate with local Council elections looming next year? Labour need to make a move, one way or another about what they actually intend to do with Clap'ham. I fear the decision is out of their hands, having done the dirty deal with a nasty capitalist property developer (I fear the decision is even out of the hands of the nasty capitalist property developer.)
The LibDems sent out the message last time of wanting to close down the Clap'ham pool, with no viable alternative offered. Lambeth Tories seem happy to put out pointless press releases - pointless in that they contain a load of twaddle, and pointless in that Lambeth 'aint ever going to go True Blue.
Once again - it's all about the swimming, isn't it?